What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Is it accurate to say that while Donald Trump has "America First" policy, the Democratic Party has "Other nations first" policy?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why do men want to suck dick?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why do liberals refuse to define what a woman is and what does that mean for the future of feminism?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

How many women have accidentally pooped their pants and became turned on afterwards?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

How did you cope when someone you love, dealing with hyper-independence and trauma, felt they needed space to heal alone? Were you able to support them without overstepping, and did you eventually reconnect? How did that journey unfold?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

How do you deal with a neighbor stealing?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

TEXT:

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

I vibrated my dogs shock collar while it was eating my other dog’s food and now it won’t eat. How do I fix this problem?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why is there a "double standard" applied to sex between a dog and a human? Why is it that to many who are at least mildly okay with bestiality, a WOMAN having sex with a male dog is fine, but a guy with a female dog is not?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!